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Teaching Your Teenager That It Is Alright To Just Say No

This might appear a strange thing to say but a large number of parents do not appreciate how vital it is to teach teenagers that dating and sex are not one and the same. It is a sad fact that all too many teens simply assume that sex is a normal part of dating and even a glance at television and magazines aimed at teenagers reveals just why this is the case. Do not simply assume that your teenagers understand the difference between dating and sex and see that they get this message.

Try to teach your children the distinction between dating and sex from an early age and strengthen this message often. In particular, help your teens to appreciate that dating involves getting to know other people emotionally and not merely physically.

Teenagers will frequently have a 'one track mind' and you will have to put forward suggestion on other things which they can do when dating rather than just focusing their thoughts on having sex. This may seem silly but you will be amazed at how often teenagers opt for sex as an option just out of boredom and cannot think of anything else to do. So, as bizarre as it may seem you really will have to propose things that your teenage children can do on a date to have fun. If you can get them to stay busy enough then they will probably end up having to say no less frequently.

A number of parents teach their teenagers how to go about saying no to sex and give them a long list of excuses or quips. The is fine but an excuse only tends to work once and merely brushing off the idea with an excuse is simply putting the question off in the short term and leaving the door open for the idea to keep coming up again and again. The answer is to instruct your child to simply say no sternly and clearly and that, while they may feel like giving reasons, they should not have to do so and merely saying no ought to be enough.

Should you find yourself in the situation where your child has already had sex then you could feel that it is too late to teach them to say no. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Many teens believe that once they have had sex once they cannot really refuse to do so again. The mere fact that they have experimented with sex however does not mean that this can simply be 'crossed off' their list of hurdles and you will have to let them know that they they are free to say no to sex if they feel uneasy. You also need to talk to them about the fact that having sex should always be something important and special and that a lot of myth surrounds the so-called significance of their initial sexual experience.

While you are talking about the importance of building relationships which are based upon far more than just sex, it is also important to combine this with teaching your teenagers about safe sex. No matter how much you may want to do so you cannot always prevent your teenagers from having sex. You can nevertheless give yourself at least some peace of mind by attempting to ensure that your teenagers keep themselves safe, even when they choose not to listen to your advice to stand up for themselves and make sensible choices.

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